There's Got to Be a Better Way

Wait—so, all you need to end infomercials forever is a mouse with the cord cut off? We might have one of those already! Where's the scissors?

Auto-Tune the Cats

Personally, we think the kitten is the best singer. Let's just hope its beautiful voice doesn't change when it hurts puberty, like what happened to those poor Hanson boys.

I Did a Sweet Front Flip

Ah, the palpable angst and irony of '90s music videos. Those Pussycat Dolls just can't pull it off.

Don't Like To Touch Them

Ah, the joys of teaching a young boy to leave an animal in a cramped refrigerator drawer before boiling it alive. It's a beautiful rite of passage.

Don't Pick Up the Phone

Pretty sure this little girl just doesn't want her brother to ever come home. She's actually a genius—his bedroom's bigger and he always takes too long in the bathroom.

Too Fast, Too Furious, Jr.

This kid can't be bothered with parallel parking the normal way. He doesn't have that kind of time on his hands. There's a very important coloring meeting at 3 p.m. and he can't afford to miss it.

Alternate Full House Intro

They should have ended the series this way. Except what would they do for the next 22 minutes? A eulogy from Kimmy Gibbler? Aunt Becky tearfully moving back in with her mother? Hmmm.

Watch Out for the Sweater!

Sure, it's amazing that this dog walks around on his front legs. But what's more amazing is how long he pees for. How big is his bladder?! It must take up his whole body!

Weiner Poop Drives Neighbors Nuts

No, stop. It's too much. TOO MUCH.

Not So Fast, Buddy

Laugh all you want, but this could be really useful if ... um ... if the ground was really hot (but yet, very smooth) and you didn't have any shoes! So there.